The topic of wedding gift registries vs honeymoon funds is sparking some serious debate online as people contemplate the idea of tradition, generational divides, and the actual purpose of gift-giving.
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The debate isn’t a new one, but this particular iteration started at the end of July, when @haleyvemealone posted, “Helping my millennial friend decide what to put on her wedding registry because the boomers in her life are insisting they want to give a gift instead of contributing to her honeymoon fund, which is what she actually wants.”
Why do married couples ask for honeymoon funds?
A disinterest in a traditional gift registry has become more common in recent years. A lot of this can be chalked up to people getting married later in life. Most millennials are currently in their 30s or early 40s; at this point, they’ve already been living on their own, purchasing the things they would usually ask for on a wedding registry for themselves over the past decade or two.
Many couples these days live together before getting married, too, which means they’ve already done the whole merge, purge, and purchasing joint items situation that comes with cohabitation.
Obviously, everyone’s needs are different. Some couples definitely still benefit from a wedding registry—or use it as an opportunity to upgrade their lives. Some couples own houses and have space for extraneous items like fancy china or the latest ultra-niche viral kitchen gadget.
But the ones who don’t need more stuff in their lives have turned to asking for honeymoon funds instead. It’s still connected to the celebration of marriage and, to them, is a much better use of guests’ money than yet another toaster oven. With the economy the way it is, it’s also the only way some married couples can even afford a honeymoon.
Is asking for honeymoon funds tacky?
As the original tweet suggests, boomers tend to struggle with this shift. Asking for specific gifts on a registry, no matter how over-the-top they may be, is the norm. Asking for money is gauche.
And they aren’t the only ones who feel that way. Some people suggested that if couples don’t need home-related items, they shouldn’t ask for gifts at all (ignoring the fact that even in that scenario, engaged couples invariably have friends and relatives who relentlessly ask what they want anyway).
The whole thing clearly brings out some seriously strong opinions on both sides of the divide, while also proving that there’s a strange complexity to this topic. For instance, one person suggested that asking for funds specifically for a honeymoon is tacky, but giving cash is totally okay—even if the couple then uses that money for a honeymoon.
Another person insisted they only want to give gifts because doing so forces the recipient to think of them every time they use the item.
And so the debate raged on…
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